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  #16  
Old 08-29-2009, 02:45 AM
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CaptainClaw CaptainClaw is offline
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FROM BOSTON CRAIGSLIST PERSONALS:
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best...268240830.html



Quote:
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You threw your lit cigarette at my face outside Starbucks - m4w
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm sorry I wasn't able to stop and chat --- I was in such a rush to do my errands --- but you too seemed to be in a giant rush to run inside and grab your extra-whip venti white chocolate mocha. You were in such a hurry that even after your friend pointed out how close your cig came to burning my face, you didn't have time to say "sorry" or "excuse me." Anyway, I just wanted to write to let you know how much I love it when Big Beautiful Women wear pajama pants/tee-shirt ensembles out in public. It conveys a postmodern "I've totally given up on life" attitude that so many men find intoxicating. Additionally, your hair was exquisite. I can tell that your life is so full of fun and adventure that you don't even have time to buy a bottle of Prell, but there's nothing more exciting than a woman on the go.

Listen, I'm sure you have far too many male suitors for you to even consider reading Craigslist missed connections, but on the off chance that you see this and you haven't been felled by heart disease or any of the myriad cancers you're courting ... I'd love to take you and your slightly less-hot friend to dinner. We'll have all the things you love! I envision beginning with some wings, then moving on to a few chicken parms, some buckets of General Tso's, even more buckets of the Colonel's extra-crispy, a jalapeno-popper palate cleanser, followed by approximately 27 stuffed-crust pizzas, as many McDonald's #2 value meals as you can eat before you get bored, and finally a jaunt to Cheesecake Factory for dessert. And at the end of the night, if you're still hungry (no doubt about that) and feeling in the mood (fingers crossed!), we can end with some edible underwear and a Colt 45 fountain.

Looking forward to hearing from you!
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  #17  
Old 09-01-2009, 07:01 PM
RockStringBender RockStringBender is offline
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Killer Drumkit. I can drive down and pick this up if interested

http://miami.craigslist.org/pbc/msg/1351580675.html
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  #18  
Old 09-01-2009, 10:27 PM
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halo71 halo71 is offline
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Better snag them Epi's up guys!

Quote:

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Epiphone Acoustic Guitar!! - $450 (Dunlap Tennessee)
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I have an Epiphone Acoustic guitar. The guitar, and case are made in Nashville Tennessee, so it is an American made guitar which really helps with the overall value and construction. The color of the guitar is brown and the case is black with black carpet like insides. Overall the guitar is in great shape it has a good sound and great tone. There is nothing at all wrong with this guitar, its like brand new. I will send pictures to a cell phone if you want me too. Contact me after 3pm at (423)-(243)-(4883) Thanks
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  #19  
Old 09-05-2009, 04:09 PM
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CaptainClaw CaptainClaw is offline
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http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/msg/1360015100.html

Quote:
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Old Mexican - $1
-----------------------------

Very old. Maybe a Fender, Fernandes but not American.
EDIT: In the above post, there was a pic of an old Mexican man. They removed it so it's not able to be included. Sorry


Of course someone had to reply...

Quote:

-----------------------------------
RE: Old Mexican - $2
-----------------------------------

Man that's funny! Does the Old Mexican come with papers or documents or a Certificate of Authenticity?

Wait a minute, are you trying to get someone in trouble dealing in undocumented Old Mexicans????
You gotta love that!
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  #20  
Old 09-07-2009, 01:27 PM
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wfojon wfojon is offline
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Not from CL but in the same vein .

Quote:
Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse- sized tazer. The effects of the tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....??
WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.
AWESOME!!!

Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and tazer in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best...?
I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, 'don't do it dipshit,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . .
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE HELL!!!

I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs? The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a tazer, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor.. A three second burst would be considered conservative?
IT HURT LIKE HELL!!!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling.

Apparently I pooped on myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my nuts and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!
P.S... My wife, can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!

If you think education is difficult, try being stupid !!!
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  #21  
Old 09-12-2009, 10:41 PM
RockStringBender RockStringBender is offline
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http://newyork.craigslist.org/lgi/msg/1367808881.html

Quote:

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thanks for the response.In a few days you will get payment - $1000000 (STROGANOFF INYA PLACE)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi,

Thanks for the response.In a few days you will get payment. I will be paying by money order so give me your full name and address to make them payable to as i do not want to loose this sale to someone else. If you will keep it in my favor, i dont mind adding twenty dollars for the delay. Pick-up wont be a problem as i already have an arrangement for that.I will like you to also send me some pictures to look.

Brad.

MY RESPONSE;

HI;
IN A FEW SECONDS YOU WILL READ THIS EMAIL AND IT WILL HAVE ALL MY MOST VALUABLE INFORMATION FOR YOUR MONEY ORDER ; MY NAME IS WOODJA BLOWME THAT'S LITHUANIAN FOR FUCK YOUR MOUTH WITH MY DICK MY PARENTS WERE FUNNY LIKE THAT ; I LIVE AT 6969 STROGANOFF INYA PLACE ; MY SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER IS 000-00-0012 ALTHOUGH I DO LOOK YOUNG FOR MY AGE I WOULD HATE TO BE FOOLED BY SOMEONE COMING TO MY HOUSE AND GIVING ME SOME COUNTERFEIT MONEY ;
THAT WOULD SUCK MY SHABOOZY STICK REAL HARD ; YOU KNOW I REMEMBER A BRAD COLE FROM WHEN I WAS A YOUNGER BOY HE USED TO DO THIS TRICK WITH HIS TONGUE TO A SLEEPING GOAT THAT WOULD MAKE IT STAND TO ATTENTION WITH A 4 INCH LIPSTICK RED ROCKET THAT WOULD KNOCK MY BUDDY METHUSELAH'S GLASS EYE OUT FROM ACROSS THE ROOM ; OHHHHH , WHAT A PARTY TRICK BUT THEN WHEN YOU THINK BACK NOW THAT BRAD COLE WAS ALWAYS WAY PASSED THE BORDER OF BEING A BUNG NIBBLER AND NEVER COULD GET A GIRL BUT THE GOATS LOVED TO FOLLOW HIM AROUND ; NOW I DIGRESS ; SO WHERE WERE WE OH, YES IF YOU NEED ANYTHING ELSE FROM ME YOU JUST LET ME KNOW AND I'LL SEND IT TO YOU BRAD YOU SILLY LITTLE GOAT NIBBLER ;

PEACE AND GOOD ANUL FEELINGS

WOODJA BLOWME
6969 STROGANOFF INYA PLACE
000-00-0012


Location: STROGANOFF INYA PLACE
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
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  #22  
Old 09-20-2009, 01:00 AM
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vaguelee vaguelee is offline
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I think this one had to be a joke...

http://maine.craigslist.org/mis/1379820056.html

I seen you into Hannafords - m4w - 67 (Belfast)

Date: 2009-09-17, 8:26PM EDT
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You was waering stretch pants and a Garth Brooks tshirt and we were checkin each other out some old hard.

I was with my girlfriends daughters kids but I'd leave all them for you. Tell me what I was wareing.
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  #23  
Old 10-07-2009, 05:06 PM
slimebaby slimebaby is offline
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Cool Wait a minute

this add says that it is freshly tuned but what is it D or E ?
someone could get screwed if it is just drop D I mean he needs to give more info.


I like fender Jazz anyway
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  #24  
Old 10-08-2009, 12:46 AM
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standing8count standing8count is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vaguelee View Post
I think this one had to be a joke...

http://maine.craigslist.org/mis/1379820056.html

I seen you into Hannafords - m4w - 67 (Belfast)

Date: 2009-09-17, 8:26PM EDT
Reply To This Post

You was waering stretch pants and a Garth Brooks tshirt and we were checkin each other out some old hard.

I was with my girlfriends daughters kids but I'd leave all them for you. Tell me what I was wareing.


Ahh ok,why are you looking in the m4w adds
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  #25  
Old 10-10-2009, 11:48 PM
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uberthrall uberthrall is offline
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Enjoy this one while it lasts.

http://boston.craigslist.org/gbs/rnr/1414110210.html
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  #26  
Old 10-11-2009, 12:01 AM
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standing8count standing8count is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by uberthrall View Post
you win
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  #27  
Old 10-11-2009, 09:43 AM
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halo71 halo71 is offline
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I was gonna post this one last night at work but forgot and now I can't find the ad. Anyway, dude has a cheapo Johnson strat copy for sale. Fair enough right.....kicker is in his ad he says it's a "rare Eric Johnson strat made especially for him, and is a great beginner's guitar!" And what a deal it is at $700 with a little Esteban pratice amp!
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  #28  
Old 12-06-2009, 12:14 PM
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halo71 halo71 is offline
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Way to sell your amp boys! This was on Athens, GA. Craigslist this morning.

-------------------------------------------------------------------
Bass Amp Ampeg SVT4 Pro - $900 (Prince)
Date: 2009-12-05, 3:52PM EST
Reply to: sale-ha9pw-1496571540@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

If you are in the market for a quality bass amp then you already know about the SVT4 Pro. Don't bullshit me with lowball offers or sob stories, if you want to wait for Christmas money from mommy or your tax return from Uncle Buttfuck, that's fine. You are a great American. This is $1399 brand new. But you already knew that. I won't go into details because if you have $900 to spend on a bass amp you have already done your homework.

What's wrong with it? Not a god damn thing.

Why am I selling it? Go fuck yourself.

Can you send me pictures? Fuck your mother.

Wanna trade coke at the Go Bar? Maybe.

First $900 gets it. Hell, if enough people ask me about it, I might go to $1100.

Any questions should be forwarded to gofuckyourself@shutthefuckup.com

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Location: Prince
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests


PostingID: 1496571540

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

And a reply from someone.

Re: Bass Amp Ampeg SVT-4 - $900 (Prince)
Date: 2009-12-06, 12:06PM EST
Reply to: sale-uccat-1497482327@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

So you've been selling your bass amp since the summer. Still haven't sold it eh? Might have something to do with the fact that A) You sound like a complete Jackass in your ad, and no one wants to deal with an ungrateful, and rude seller Threatening to raise the price if people ask questions? You're a joke man . B) You're not even a bass player (as stated in your previous ads) and this amp was a "hand me down" from a friend. I'll take your word on the condition and sound of the amp with no problem! The reason people like you revert to the "You know what this is.." line is because you really don't know shit about the amp other than what you read on Musician's Friend of the Ampeg website. C) $900? Even if it were American made (which I don't know if yours is because you never say in your ads and you could never tell me when I inquired about the amp) the amp is used. On eBay, where you're protected against jackass sellers like yourself, You can buy an American SVT4 used and in great condition for $700 with $50 shipping. Even Guitar Center sells these cheaper used and we all know what a rip-off they are! Not saying that I don't personally think $900 is a fair price, but no one is going to pay more than what they could pay on eBay to a guy on CL who acts like he doesn't want their business anyway! For the money you're asking, someone could buy a very nice used All Tube SVT head (like I did) and they're worth way more than your SVT4. So good luck to you man. Times are tough, and obviously you need the money too if you're trying to squeeze that much out of a used amp head. So if you do seriously want to sell your amp, try a little salesmanship. Don't act like a complete tool, and try to work with your potential buyers. Don't make yourself sound like an elitist dick... because you're not... elite, at least.

Location: Prince
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PostingID: 1497482327
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  #29  
Old 03-09-2010, 10:05 PM
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wfojon wfojon is offline
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Q-Ball, this guy has to be related to whats-his-name you found with the guitar.
http://bakersfield.craigslist.org/msg/1636893139.html

maybe I could impress my momma...
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  #30  
Old 03-10-2010, 02:55 PM
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Q-Ball Q-Ball is offline
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I figured I'd better copy and paste this ad before it expires. I had posted it earlier in Shred under "deals in the wild" but Jon's posting above needed an explaination...

ESP ELECTRIC GUITAR - $700 (PITTSBURGH)

Date: 2010-02-22, 4:43PM EST
Reply to: sale-ruvku-1613014100@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

ESP 6 STRING AXE!!!! COMPLETELY CUSTOMIZED BEGINNING WITH STEEL TUNERS, AND PROFESSIONALLY INSTALLED" ZACK WYLDE"EMG 81/85 ACTIVE PICK-UP''S BY PAUL ASH"S PERSONAL LUTHIERS IN NEW YORK STATE!!!IT IS FITTED ALSO WITH ZACKS 10g-60g STRINGS, WHICH ALLOW YOU TO DE-TUNE TO AS FAR AS 5 STEPS BELOW STANDARD TUNING! HERE COMES THE MOST SERIOUS ASPECT OF THE CUSTOMIZATION; I PERSONALLY HAND PAINTED THIS AXE USING BRUSHES MADE FROM MY OWN HUMAN HAIR, AND CHICKEN BONES!!! TO EXPLAIN, I BOUGHT THIS AXE WHILE I WAS IN STATE PRISON, AND LEARNED TO PLAY ON THIS AXE . I AM A WICCAN, AND USING ONLY PRIMAL TECHNIQUES, COMPLETELY TRANSFORMED IT! I HAVE WELL OVER 100 HOURS INVESTED IN THE PROCESS. IT IS PAINTED BLACK, AND IN A COFFIN'-LIKE MOTIFF, INCLUDING COPIUS AMOUNTS OF THE MOST WICKED DRIPPING BLOOD DOWN THE MACHINE HEAD AND BODY, FRONT AND BACK, ALL TRIMMED IN RAISED WHITE NAIL-HEADS! I EVEN HAVE A PRISON CHICKEN BONE FITTED NEXT TO THE VOLUME KNOB AS A HAND-REST! THIS IS NOT SOME PAINTED-UP PIECE-OF-SHIT GUITAR, BUT AN ABSOLUTELY ONE-OF-A-KIND SCREAMING MEEMIE!!! CRAZY-POWERFUL AND BREATH-TAKING IN IT'S DESIGN, YOU WILL NEVER,NEVER,NEVER FIND ANOTHER ONE EVEN REMOTELY LIKE IT!!! I GOTTA SELL IT, I'M ON PAROLE AND NOT WORKING,PERIOD... OR I WOULD NEVER PART WITH IT. I WILL GLADLY SEND YOU ALL KIND OF PICS OF IT, ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS CALL MED AT: 412-537-6597 . I DONT HAVE THE ABILITY TO INCLUDE PICS WITH THIS AD. BUT YOU NEED TO SEE IT!! I WILL CONSIDER ANY REASONABLE OFFER, BUT THE FIRST ONE GETS IT... RENT IS DUE IN A FEW... MY NAME IS CHAINSAW AND YOU CAN ALSO REACH ME AT chainsawlives@ymail.com DO NOT PASS UP THIS OPPORTUNITY TO OWN A RARE PRISON AXE THAT IS BUILT FOR SPEED, AND WILL ABSOLUTELY TURN HEADS!!! THANX !!!!!! , AND "BLESSED BE"!!!
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